11 APR 2026 //

dark half of the year; six months later and I'm still here

alternate title: nervous system

If you know me personally or keep a safe distance observing me on social media, you'll know I haven't been well. Incredibly bad actually. I'm feeling better as I type this after experiencing some turbulance this week, but I hit the lowest of lows these past few months. Things got way too real. Everything else blurs together in a mix of crying and dissociative rumination. Worst of all: It's been an unimagineably cold winter I haven't been drawing.

That all might seem rather dramatic but unfortunately it's not an exageration. But like I mentioned, my mood has improved over the past few weeks and I'm on an upward trend. That's largely what motivated me to update this website for the first time since august of last year. That and scrounging the personal sites of some cool people reignited my love for this medium. Cool internet weirdos making cool things for eachother remains one of the best things the burgeoning polymath can do in this day and age.

I want to get better, in every sense of the word. I want to be healthy. I want forward momentum. I want to become the thing my dreaming mind reminds me daily. I've spent too much time feeling sad, feeling angry, feeling nothing. I've spent more then enough time at the bottom. Too much time staring at the empty space of my wounds. If I can tie the lifting of my spirits to the clever association I've made between the autumn and spring equinoctes and a traumatic experience that happened 6 months ago, than I'm more then happy to indulge in a delusion.

I can't properly credit the amount of help and grace I receieved the past few months. I'm nothing without those in my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

bless bless

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